Once upon a time, as I was wrestling boredom that was eating whatever life I had left in me – I’m sure you can all relate – I went on Facebook, while I was scrolling down my timeline I caught the glimpse of a status posted in a very popular girls’ group. We go by the ‘no names’ policy but I can assure you, if you heard the name of the group you’d recognize it right away.
The post was from a girl that said: “Girls I’m desperate for help please, may God bless you. It won’t take seconds I swear. Whoever is willing to help please send me a private message.”
Naturally, I sent her a message right away.
“Excuse me, you said you wanted help. Tell me what it is and in’sha’Allah I’ll be able to give you a helping hand.”
“Thank you sister. I was engaged to someone but we didn’t get along, trouble happened and I broke it up. So he created a fake account with my full name and started posting all of my photos, I should also let you know that the account is public and now everybody has seen my personal pictures. Please sister all I’m asking is for you to report the account, it won’t take seconds.”
“This is terrible. حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل of course send me the link of the profile.”
And so she sent me the link, I reported and passed it on to a few close friends. A spam from here and there and the account was deactivated, thank the Lord.
I couldn’t admonish the girl then because I understand how she was feeling at the time, if I was her – God forbid – worry would’ve been the death of me.
This is where we reach the root of these lines. A recent phenomenon that’s been taking place over the last few years. Photos trade. I didn’t call it trade because it involves profit and loss, I’m calling it a trade because this mister who runs to show off personal pictures of girls to his friends, feels like he won the title of manliness on the inside. After all, he taught her a lesson and got his revenge when she didn’t want to put up with him anymore.
God forbid we run into this bad excuse of an existence one day. This doesn’t mean only one side takes the blame though, Ladies.
Let us put our religion and Islam aside, because even a fool knows that it’s forbidden, an enormous sin weighing down your shoulders.
So I am not going to state the obvious. Though, allow me to tell you ladies that sometimes, your blind trust can be very stupid and naïve. Let me summarize what happens – or what I think, happens – as follows:
Boy meets girl. They get in a relationship, become friends or get engaged…etc. The girl starts getting to know the boy and from here the trust wall starts to build up. First it’s your name and hobbies, then you start complaining about this and gossiping about that and before you know it, you trust this person with your life. Of course when you reach this point you’ve got two cases:
1- The boy turns out to be a perverted individual with no manners and no fear of God and starts telling the girl he wants to see “photos” (This is where the girl has the full right and duty to strongly refuse and never talk to him again because he is a bad person.) And here starts the boy using the girl’s very special feature, sensitivity. Every member of the pink sex has been provided with a very benignant, gracious heart. He starts accusing the girl of not loving him, not trusting him…etc. So the girl, not wanting to lose her mate, starts sending him the “photos”. Of course these are very special, dumb cases. A girl who uses the brain the Lord has provided her with, would scold him and never talk to him again because he lacks manners and religion.
2- The second case happens rarely in my opinion, it’s where the girl saves the boy the effort and sends him the “photos” without him asking with excuses like “I look so ugly today”, “Look at the outfit I wore tonight”…you get the point.
To be honest, the second case is quite confusing to me. What benefit do they get out of it? They only start screaming and crying about their personal photos being all over Facebook the next day.
So dear, if you’re the type of person who does this, I’m not defending you. I’m reproaching you.
Your photos are a personal possession of yours. A sacredness. A sanctity. Call it whatever you like. Whenever you’re about to send photos of you in a mini dress at a wedding to someone who doesn’t even relate to you in blood, think. What will you benefit from this? Sure he will call you beautiful and pretty and drown you in compliments then but trust me, you have hit rock bottom of how high and honorable he thinks of you. Sin? Quran is full of Ayat that confirm it is very much indeed. What’s most important, believe that doing this is equal to stabbing your father who worked so hard to raise and provide for you with a knife in the back. 95% chance is this boy you sent these photos to, doesn’t give a crap about what happens to you as soon as he knows you’re as low as this level.
Have self-respect. Appreciate yourself. Know that you’re worth more than this cheap flattery you are seeking for.
So a warning to all women, whoever asks to see a special “photo” will not marry you nor remain a loyal friend to you for long. And dear boys, that doesn’t leave you out of the equation. Keep in mind that what goes around comes around, one way or another.
A phenomenon that’s been spreading wildly lately and has to stop. Think of what’s best for you, sister.
The topic may not be relevant to women rights but Project Silphium revolves around all problems concerning women and this one is at the top of the pyramid.
This is how I analyzed the dilemma, I hope these lines don’t become a waste of virtual space. Please illuminate me if I was mistaken in anything .
Translated by: S.B
Note : The photo attached is by english artist John Everett Millais. titled “ Trust me ”. Style : Romanticism.