Don’t waste your time dreaming, you’ll end up in the kitchen anyway!


Libyan society understanding of  “Perfect Woman” is wrong, wrong to infinity and beyond. Let me explain; perfect Libyan woman is someone who cooks, cleans, give birth to “boys” and never complains. Have you ever heard a Libyan that said “ wow she’s educated” or “ she has masters? She’s an engineer? She’s a journalist? She’s good at what she do? Of course not! Sadly our society only cares about Flan daughter cleaned her auntie’s house, you should of seen it, it’s sparkling! And Alan’s daughter made stuffed potatoes for her in laws with raw meat, can you imagine?! Her mama taught her nothing what a Bayra.

I’m not saying cleaning is bad or cooking is bad,it’s quite the opposite. ( I love cooking, it’s my hobby.)

Now you must be reading thinking what does this have to do with me? How can I fix something as big as this society? All of this is happening to us, because of how some women see themselves as something that isn’t equal to men, something unworthy. So they settle for lesser education, lesser rights, lesser involvement in their surroundings. Just because they don’t want to be laughed at, or rejected by society or talked about. and after all we’re all humans and some of us isn’t strong enough to fight so they give up and settle to fit in.

Now let me talk about how this “being talked about” and judged by people and how it effects people here in Libya to the point they’re more afraid of people than their fear for Allah. I’ll give you an example, you see there’s this hijabi girl I know and I’ve been always seeing her around Benghazi “fully clothed”  and I always go Masha’ allah when I see her. After awhile I was abroad and by happenstance I saw her, and you’re all familiar with Libyan blood and how it works like a radar abroad. Honestly I didn’t know her right away so out of curiosity and wanting to make sure it’s really her I decided to take a closer look. And you could of sworn she saw Gog and Magog. She said “ um umm hi how are you? Long time no see what are you doing here” in my head I went like “ it’s not your damn country” but I replied with “ good, we’re having a vacation. What happened to your hijab? “ and she said “ If I wanna wear hijab I would of stayed in Libya. Got to go, lets meet and catch up!” .

And she left with her mother wearing something I will not describe because we’re trying not to be graphic.

From that day on I came to the conclusion, people aren’t afraid of Allah here. They’re afraid of other people’s reaction to what women do or don’t do. I’ve never been more repulsed ( I’ve seen lots of girls do the same thing ) and this is just a little example of how much society controls us. My point is people here don’t mind doing anything no matter how haram it is as long as other people don’t discuss them , being scared of rejection and talked about controls us more than our fear for Allah Almighty.

Now dear reader you’re going to ask me, how am I supposed to change society? You can’t change society and I can’t change society. Society changes by itself. You can’t force people to not look at you , point at you , laugh at you or talk about you. All you can do is be yourself, not care about what airheads think , achieve your goals and dreams, and be who you need to be.

I’m not saying do something wrong or haram, I’m just saying ignore them, ignore them and their worn out traditions. Don’t settle and give up your dreams over society’s impossible approval.

The Perfect Woman is well educated, she’s a reader, she’s inspirational, enlightened, independent, successful, good at what she do and of course clean and a good cook.

What you need to understand from all of this is if you’re not doing something haram then people can go to hell.

Note : The photo attached is a painting by American from Russian origin artist Robert Brackman , known as “ Life and Still Life” . Style : Realism


Join the discussion and tell us your opinion.

Yaarub F. Miladreply
December 10, 2014 at 06:12 AM

some people do appreciate educated women

projectsilphium مشروع سيلفيومreply
December 10, 2014 at 07:12 AM
– In reply to: Yaarub F. Milad

Thank you for your comments , These people need to speak up 🙂 we love being appreciated .

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